hello assalamualaikum. so, ada about 8 hari lagi before kita menjejakan kaki ke tahun 2014. happy? idk. to be frank, i'm not ready at all. bcs i'm gonna be 17. & it means i'm gonna sit for my ass-pm. oh my lord, i'm not ready AT ALL. gila. ini memang gila. ugh i'm so scared of failure doh. well who doesnt kan? damn, if only time could just turn back, i promise, i'm gonna study so hard. haih, why lah i was not born with smart brain so that i dont have to study, struggle and all this shit.
some of my friends asked me "weh macam mana kau belajar eh?" lol wut. i dont even study. kalau study pun tak study seteruk diorang like gi mana mana nak bawak buku. no, i'm not that type of person. seriously. but idk why sometimes my result is way too good from them haha idk. maybe its just a coincidence i guess. maybe aku belajar terlebih sikit kot ahaha. but seriously, aku tak pernah study teruk teruk, gi mana mana bawak buku, stay up all night just to study. nooooooooo. even time pmr. & what i can say is, my result is better rather than some of my friends. not to brag lah kan but thats the reality.
& apa yang aku nak untuk 2014 adalah kejayaan. nak buat ibu ayah bangga, nak study betul betul especially untuk subjects elektif bio, physics, kimia, addmaths. dah lah time form 4 ni main main, honeymoon habis. haih wake up self wake up! tapi aku tak tau aku boleh ke tak. i am seriously lack of self-esteem. tak yakin aku boleh buat. haih. where can i buy this self-esteem eh? agak agak ebay ada jual tak lol
and no more crushing on anyone else. i'll try to move on. insyaAllah. nak study dulu. at least kalau takleh beat kak ika punya result, kak yong punya pun jadi lah. but yah, aku tak tau aku boleh ke tak bcs i'm that type of person who easily attached to someone & i hate that part of myself. but i will try. insyaAllah :)
i will, insyaAllah. pray for me! xo